I am so wasted ?

I love this card (Its a greetings card in case that isn't clear) on so many levels . I think I bought one ages ago to send my niece but I cant recall now whether I actually sent it to her or not . I wasn't sure if she might take it the wrong way . Its the kind of thing I would think applied perfectly to me and would be delighted if someone sent it to me but you can't always be sure how the recipient will react , especially after a heavy night on the sherberts , which they might , mistakenly assume you're referring to .
So when I saw the card again recently in our Borders , I surreptitiously whipped out my camera and took a snap , all unable to resist its many messages.

"Of all the thing Ive lost I miss my mind the most "Then it struck me that this one was probably of even more relevance to me , and is probably why I am so wasted , and on so many levels . Losing my mind due to my ever increasing intake of epilepsy drugs is a source of constant internal conflict for me at present as I am not so much losing my mind as losing my words. I kind of know what I am doing but I am slowly losing my ability to express what I am doing .

I halt mid sentence much of the time and wait to see what will emerge . And often , nothing much does emerge . And I wait , then take a stab at it and ... poppycock pours out .

Still I live in hope that the migraines will ultimately pass and the medication with it and then my words will be back .

Until then I will go on looking at the cards .

There were dozens that applied to D . Those depicting men polishing flash cars with two fat seagulls perched above on a chimney pot watching and waiting and indicating impatience for them to finish " If he doesnt hurry up and finish that polishing I'm going to have an accident here " .

Or ...If men loved their women as much as their cars blah blah ....

Or two rather neat penguins on an ice floe in the ocean , one saying to the other " I 'll have a quick tidy up here whilst you go and get the takeaway supper ."

I have been investigating Twitter recently , wondering if it would be easy to Tweet ( fewer words needed after all ! ) . It took me ages to get the hang of it . the concept is so very different and it has been one more thing to take me away from my beloved blogging besides all the other things ( sleep , life , Six Feet Under boxed sets from the library , Books and the new City library which has opened oh joy oh bliss, so many people to meet for coffee in Lui s as ever , dog walking , CatCalling , the DayJob , Google , and oh Holby City on Tuesdays . My life as you see is so full .

But Twitter does not include the people I want it to include , most sensible people having looked and left .

I shall attempt to continue to do both .......

An Education .....

Somewhat , ( though admittedly not much ) anxious at the Autumnal prospect of Falling into a Rut , I vowed to book myself a night out no matter what last night , forgetting that it was Hallowe'en . Come seven pm the odds were stacked against me . Saturday night and therefore venturing out meant that I would inevitably miss Casualty , about the only TV thing I watch , well apart from Holby City of course . I am nothing if not predictable and I do love hospitals , having become accustomed to them over the years .
Then of course the lateness of the hour . I had been building up to seeing a film and was particularly keen to see Lynne Barber's memoirLynn Barber: My age of innocence - Times Online transformed by Nick Hornby and the Danish director whose name temporarily escapes me , out from Friday inwards at Oh Bliss the Tyneside cinemaTyneside Cinema: Welcome to Newcastle’s newest cinema - and a brand new kind o in Newcastle thus giving me the opportunity to inspect its recent transformation and for me to step back in time to my twenties when I was in the habit of seeing every film that came out , often on my own . - An Education An Education was billed to start at Nine pm . Nine pm ! Usually the time I would be thinking of changing into my night time attire in the interests of comfort , and shuffling off to watch a few episodes of Six Feet Under since I discovered the Boxed Sets at the library .
Could I really be tootled to get changed into suitable Going Out clothes , apply make up even , brave the storm which was forecast , find a parking space in town and calculate the time it would take to drive there in order to arrive at the correct time for the film . Did I really even want to see the film that much ? Enough to go on my own ? I had made a half hearted effort to invite a friend but she was indisposed , having flu . I didn't try anyone else , partly wanting to go it alone . Partly wanting to make it easy to drop out if I wanted to .
But ... you know what , I did it !
Donning an outfit of Nat's , I pushed myself out the door , drove off there in good time , parked no problem , though walking up a back alley in town I did have a few qualms when encountering a few lonely souls dressed in ghoul outfits , with black and grey robes and the scream masks . As they approached me in turn out of the shadows , I kept my pace up , stilled my beating heart and thought , at twice their age and some , I am probably as scary in this dark back lane ! Just Keep walking .......Arriving in good time , I found the Tyneside coffee rooms open and the young waitress admired my Hard Rock Cafe brooch I was given in Barcelona . And the film .... oh the film was so good . So many memories , of Twickenham , of riding around in a car like the one the older boyfriend had whilst staying in Teddington myself so many years ago blah blah .....And the city when I emerged at eleven or thereabouts was heaving with the street cleaning machines and literally a plethora of witches ghosts and assorted spectres so many that it was impossibly to be alarmed . I walked back to my car on air , in a throng of people , so glad I made the effort .

Ms CatCalls finds a Bengal

Raj the hithertofore missing cat....

Having Six Feet Under-ed myself Out ( ie treated myself to a boxed set courtesy of our local library ; four pounds something for series four , five discs on loan for fourteen days of Alan Ball at his very best , I thought I had best get viewing and maxed out watching three or four episodes snuggled up on the Teenager's bed while she "Experienced" ( whatever that really means , something in a Marquee on the seafront I believe ) accompanied by the Greyhound and one cat , whilst the remaining Cats assisted D watch X factor or some such on an alternative tv elsewhere . Whew. Long sentence . I shall restart .

Having maxed out I finally retire knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I have missed my vocation as a Funeral Director but safe in the knowledge that in the next life I shall have my chance ... I finally sit up in bed reading a Fay Weldon novel and tittering at her take on various aspects of things long gone . Wash Day for example . However I am in danger of digressing ....

D appears with a homemade poster including the above photograph of the cat , Raj a fine specimen who has recently come to live two doors along from us though I have yet to make his acquaintance . He has apparently gone walkabout due to the heay rain and the appearance near the back of our houses of some Drilling Equipment . ( The Water Board . ) First thing this morning . New neighbour requests that everyone check sheds and garages in case he has holed up somewhere .

I put down my book and as I stare out into the darkness ( it is windy and drizzling outside ) an image forms somewhere inside my head . I picture this cat I have never seen . He is crouching in our yard , against our house , somewhere close to our unused guinea pig hutch , sheltering .

I climb out of bed , feeling a little stupid but knowing that I need to check . Of course I know "he can't be there" but I need to reassure myself nontheless as another part of me , an insistent silent voice I have heard once or twice before , in fact countless times , is telling me he IS there .

I head downstairs , telling D I am just checking the yard for the cat just to be sure .

I unlock the back door , step out into the yard in my vest top and pyjama bottoms , bare feet and there , of course , I see a pair of bright yellow eyes .

Hello Sweetheart . I say . People are looking for you ..... Just stay there will I come and get you ......

I hear an answering voice , very low .

Now how does that work ?

Joan goes surfing !

Further to my last post just to show that not everyone is putting off everything and making excuses . Well done Joan who has overcome her fear of water and learned body surfing in the Summer !

Hibernation ?

Is everyone else doing the same as me ? Putting off everything in a fit of lethargy lasting forever ?

I am pleased to report that the hand still reaches out from under the duvet to switch on the coffee machine at six am somehow the Fox's wholemeal bran biscuits still find their way into my mouth , though perhaps in slower motion than usual , and Alice groans more than is the norm in Summer as I push her along in the bed to avoid her left back paw stirring it with my novel . I have found the perfect solution there , cover her up with a tartan fleece blanket including all limbs and the head and she goes quiet for a further three hours . The initial almost silent Wuf indicating Extreme Delight at such snuggliness and then .. Silence ....
Peace reigns and my coffee machine does its work puffing and blowing as I prise open the biscuit tin and prop myself up on the pillows and get the book ready leaving the great Switch On until the final moment.... Reading in semi darkness with the wind howling outside is all very well and in my ways has much to recommend it but in contrast to the Summer months when one is tempted to jump straight out of bed at seven , the desire to settle back into bed on the non working days is strong . Hence the " putting everything off until another day " tendencies of Autumn .
My To Do list is curling in on itself near my virtual-desk and my list of excuses grows thin.

This week's main excuse for not doing anything was the preparation of a presentation for a high powered conference full of politicians and the like . Every time I thought of something that needed to be done my presentation took priority . I even managed to persuade myself to get my hair cut and coloured on Tuesday afternoon and that was another thing lurking at the bottom of the To Do list , but since we were leaving at an unearthly hour on Wednesday am to drive to Harrogate the hair date saved me an hour of my own time at five am .

And last weekend was entirely taken up with travelling to Wiltshire for the birthday party of a friend . Nine hours on the roads thanks to various hold ups and delays , but worth it in the end .

So , no more excuses , unless its just Hibernation Time ?

I wonder if my Blog is slipping out of my grasp ? Or whether its just a reflection of the fact that everything is slipping slightly ? My memory , my thought processes , my abilities in all directions . Or maybe I just have a cold and its Autumn and the leaves are falling and everyone , but everyone I know is complaining of this and that .

For my part my CatCalling will be slowing up for the Winter months . My own cats are eyeing up the radiators and the water bed and jostling for the best spots around the house . There are signs that two of the Birmans would love to snuggle up to the hot-water-bottle that is Alice but so far it hasn't quite happened ; they struggle even to sit close to each other even though they are blood relatives .

And I am more than a little envious of a colleague who is going to get a puppy this weekend , a shi tsu / poodle cross . Another colleague asked incredulously , so what would you call that then : a sh*t- poo , or a poo-sh*t ? oh dear !
I can't wait to see him or her ...

Autumn Colds.....

I drag myself out of bed at 10 am ( has it come to this? ) thinking has it come to this? My head is still banging ... residual migraine , streaming cold , but at least the gastro-intestinal challenges of earlier in the week are on their way out .
As I have been sitting propped against the pillow drinking coffee since half six am without tasting it and my novel is boring me , there is nothing for it but to wander downstairs in search of new ideas.
The leaves are changing colour and everything is cooler out there .
The house is deserted .
Even Nat has gone to school . Her impetigo has receeded and she can walk on her Uggs . I test my own second patch and wonder how I would fare in my own walking boots ?
"Alice" I call upstairs .... but she feigns deafness.
I reply to a few emails and then try again .
I have had an idea .

I go up and collect fodder for the washing machine , meanwhile checking the progress of the dog . She opens one eye but says nothing . Fancy a walk ? I ask . Nil response. Are greyhounds dogs or some kind of dog substitute for the couch potato owner? As I leave the room she makes a lovely reassuring sigh .... I'm still here and all is well with the world .... and this bed is soooo warm and my cuddly monkey is the best toy I've ever had ( I note the monkey tucked sweetly under her arm ) .

Half and hour later she and I are trotting through Jesmond Dene , a brainwave designed to make a change from our usual haunts , exchanging the bracing coastline with its salt and fish and sand and pebble for stagnant pools and old pramwheels and then suddenly a bridge, a waterfall , falling leaves on our heads all puntuated with sudden runners and jogging buggy pushers . Pets Corner and the Coffee Shop are closed for major works .

Thus we find ourselves outside Starbucks with our clipped coupon for free latte snacking and warming ourselves and wondering where the Summer went .

Pearl is Evercats DailyCat RunnerUp .....

To cheer myself up I entered Pearl on the Evercats cat of the day site and she won runner up the next day The Daily Cat : EverCats coming second to Zoe . If you scroll through the site you can find the second the third cats of the day including Pearl lying in bed looking quite pleased with herself .

Had you glimpsed into the CatCalls Hub that day you would have seen not just the usual inhabitants of the WaterBed at midday ( Pearl in the lefthand corner and Alice bang slap in the centre legs akimbo on a hot day or rolled into a ball in cooler weather ) . There were also various human inhabitants looking very sorry for themselves .

It wasn't Swine Flu but Impetigo we had / have .... and my flea bites ( infected ) the culprits . I had largely ignored the inflamed patches of blistering skin around my heels and ankles assuming eventually they would heel , and had been too busy dealing with the eye , the conference , the injured dog , and life generally , and then getting on with enjoying my days off to want to be bothering with blisters.

Finally , when Nat's "swine flu " combined with a sudden eruption on her ankle of exactly the same kind of blister ( more like a gaping flesh wound by the time I saw it , it was time for action . She was treated before me at a walk in centre , it being the weekend , and they told her the flu symtoms were her body's attempts to fight off the infection galloping through her body . By this time I ws starting with some similar signs , a sore throat . I attended and was also given antibiotics ... which I have reacted adversely to so have now been given an antibacterial cream .

We are hoping the Impetigo which has infected the blisters will not spread further .... I now have another on my other heel .....but less gruesome than the first .

What next ?